Corporate Lesson 1 -
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife
is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps
herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there
stands Bob,the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give
you $800 to drop that towel.†After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands
her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was
that?†“It was Bob the next door neighbor,†she replies. “Great!†the
husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?â€
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
to prevent avoidable exposure.
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Corporate Lesson 2 -
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?†The priest removed his
hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?†The priest apologized
“Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.â€
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.â€
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great opportunity.
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Corporate Lesson 3 -
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their
manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it
and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.â€
“Me first! Me first!†says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the a world.†Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!†says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.†Poof! He’s gone.
OK, you’re up,†the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want
those two back in the office after lunch.â€
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
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Corporate Lesson 4 -
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all
day. A Rabbit asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?â€
The crow answered: “Sure, why not.†So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very high up.
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Corporate Lesson 5 -
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree,†sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.†“Well,
why don’t you nibble on my droppings?†replied the bull. “They’re packed
with nutrients.†The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave
him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a
fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he
was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullcrap might get you to the top,
but it won’t keep you there.
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Corporate Lesson 6-
Rohit woke up one fine morning with a huge hangover. He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sat down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!â€
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, “Son, what happened last night?â€
His son says, “Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the doorâ€.
Totally Confused, Rohit asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!â€
His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said , “hey !!!!!!! leave me alone! I’m married!â€
MoralBreakfast — Rs. 100.00
Self-induced hangover — Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture — Rs. 20,000.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
