There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went the playground and grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north side of the city play ground", and then signed, "A Sardarji". The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note saying, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji ?!"
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One rainy day Sardar singh was travelling by his new FERRARI car. He was not a very good driver and so, did not have complete control on it. Mike tyson was also riding his bike on the same road . At a speed breaker sardar's car came in contact with tyson's bike.
Tyson got very angry. He dragged sardar out of the car and threw him a few yards away from the car. Tyson then drew a small circle around sardar and shouted " Hey !!It's not easy for you to damage my bike and get away . Now i will be thrashing your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash your car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately".
Then Tyson turned towards the car and he smashed its side indicators.Then he looked at sardar . Sardar looked at Tyson sarcastically. Tyson's anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked at sardar.
Sardar grinned at Tyson. Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he broke the side doors and tore away the seats of the car. Then he again looked at Sardar. Sardar was laughing so hard that he could hardly stand. This time Tyson came to Sardar and he told " oh !what is this ? I am spoiling your expensive car and you are so happy about it ?"
Sardar replied " Every time you turned towards the car I was out of the circle and you did not notice it . I have fooled you. You are a fool .."
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Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before!
As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in from of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the cockroach. He picked the cockroach and put it in the centreof the table and said: "Run". The cockroach ran. He pulled out one leg of the cockroach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The cockroach ran. He pulled one more leg of the cockroach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The cockroach ran. This way the cockroach tried to run even when it had just one leg.
He pulled last leg of the cockroach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The cockroach could not!
Our Professor was satisfied with his studyand started writing his thesis: "When you pull out all the legs of a cockroach, it cannot hear anymore".
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A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor.The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear". "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. But ... what happened to the other ear?" The scoundrel called back.
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A Surd was going by train from Delhi to Bombay. He kept getting off at every station to buy a ticket till the next station. When the train reached Delhi, the Surd's co-passengers asked him why he kept on buying tickets instead of buying a ticket for the entire.The Surd replied that his doctor had advised him against taking long journeys.
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Letter from Sardarji leading Y2k Project
Dear Sir,
Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through everyline of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December.
As well as: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak,Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this "Y to K" problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.
And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We'll await your direction.
Very Sincerely,
Santa Singh,
Y-to-K Project leader.
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There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were Sardars, and one was a Gujju. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the Gujju ( of course ) said, "I'll get off."
After a really touching speech from the Gujju saying he would get off, all of the Sardars started clapping. Problem solved.
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Sardar in Texas
A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30 minutes now, when they finally decide to pull it over. The officer steps out and walks up to the surd's window.
"Goodafternoon, sir."
"Good afternoon, any problems?"
"No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you for a half an hour now. We ascertained that you have not committed one single traffic violation, you have not gone over the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the fellow drivers on the road. Therefore, as a part of our new "Solid Driving Awareness Program", I would like to present you with this check for $30,000.00."
The surd lets out a big sigh of relief: "Oh good! Now I can finally pay to get my driver's license."
Awkward silence, then the surd's wife sitting in the passenger seat goes, "Don't listen to him, officer. He always talks nonsense when he has been drinking."
Surd's Grandma, who's a little hard of hearing, adds from the backseat, "Aye aye aye, didn't I tell you not to go in a stolen car?"
At this time the surd's trunk pops open and a head peeks out, "Are we over the border yet ?"
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."
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This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to ha," Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata."
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Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai, kahin bhook se na marjaun"
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Do u know What Surdarji will do after taking Xerox?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
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Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
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Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed. "What happened ?" asked Surjit. "Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday ... "
"How come ?"
"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and Pakistan was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
"But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?"
"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too."
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An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector. The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer." BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles." And the machine is silent.
The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent.
The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.
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Mom's letter to a sardar.
This is a letter from a sardarji mother to her son at school..... "Pyaarey Puttar, Vahe Guru.
I am writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to give you the address as the last sardar who stayed in this house took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldnt have to change their address...
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM SINCE...
THE weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days...The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket...
We got another bill from the funeral home. It said that if we don't make the last payment on GRANDMA'S FUNERAL, she will come up again...
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass in the cemetery...
Your sister had a baby this morning, I havent found out whether it is a boy or girl, so I don't know whether you are an aunt or uncle! There isn't much more news at this time. nothing much has happened...
Love,
mom.
P.S.: I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed...
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Why and What
Why did the Sardar Ji think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film was a woman?
Because his name was 'Ben' (sister) Kingsley. Why does the Sardar Ji go to London?
To see his Big Ben (sister). Why did the visitor to the Sardar Ji home run away when he was offered tea?
Because the Sardar Ji said he would serve snakes with it. (snacks) Why did the Sardar Ji wear a Tuxedo to his vasectomy?
If he was going to be impotent, he wanted to look impotent. Why did the American get scared of the Sardar Ji?
Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.' Why did Bill Clinton have the Sardar Ji beaten?
The Sardar Ji told him, You are an impotent man. What will a Sardar Ji tell a tomato who is trailing in a vegetable race?
Come on, Tomato, Ketch up What did the Sardar Ji mean when he said, Maro dikro STATES ma gayon?
His son failed in statistics. What did the Sardar Ji mean when he said. Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
My son drowned.
